


Part of the Puzzle

by someofthissomeofthat11011



Series: Spierfeld Week <3 [2]
Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: M/M, Soulmates, Spierfeld Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 20:28:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14316555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someofthissomeofthat11011/pseuds/someofthissomeofthat11011
Summary: Simon lives in a world where his life is made up of puzzle pieces that form the shape of a human being. As he learns more about himself, he slowly gets more pieces. He keeps waiting for the day that he’ll meet his soulmate and will finally get rid of the hole in his heart… literally.





	Part of the Puzzle

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Spierfeld Day 2: Soul Mate AU

 

Simon stared at the puzzle mounted on his wall. It was hard to believe that once upon a time, it had been completely blank. People don’t get their puzzles until they turn 8 and the pieces don’t start turning up right away. It takes a lot of life lessons, begrudgingly learned, for the puzzle pieces to show up.

When he had gotten Bieber, his dog, at the age of nine, a tiny piece of his heart had shown up. He had gotten another piece of his heart when he got through his awkward middle school years and realized his parents were not actually trying to make his life miserable and that he loved them unconditionally.

He got one of his ears when he accepted he wasn’t going to be a mainstream music fan and that he preferred to cuddle up with Bieber and listen to Elliott Smith more than anything else.

He had gotten a piece of his shoulder, one of his larger puzzle pieces, after Leah found out her dad had cheated on her mom and left them. Leah had spent two days with him, staying over his house both nights. He had been confused when the piece had shown up with her face on it, until his mother explained it to him. “You were a shoulder to cry on,” she told him with a small smile. He could tell she was proud. Since his very first puzzle piece arrived, a little oreo on a medium-sized piece that was where his stomach was, she had made a conscious effort not to overreact to new pieces showing up. Even at eight years old, he had been incredibly embarrassed when his mom told people about his oreo addiction.

For the most part, she mastered the art of hiding how she felt, but she had done it again when a piece of his eye that was pure black arrived. Simon had been mortified when she had bragged that Simon had gotten the piece that meant he could clearly see himself. It was one of the pieces that anyone could get, once they understood who they are. Though if he was being honest with himself, it only happened because he stopped lying to himself. Some people go their whole lives without getting it, so the fact that he got it when he was thirteen made his mom proud as could be. The cool thing about that piece is it would change as he did. It didn’t mean he was done learning about himself, but that at that point in time, he truly understood himself and what he wanted. That puzzle piece arrive the day after he finally understood that he was gay and stopped looking at his life through rose colored glasses. He hadn’t told her why the piece had shown up, but had chewed her out for embarrassing him like that and spent the next couple of days ignoring her and holing up in his bedroom.

Now, at 17 years old, Simon had all the milestone pieces that everyone gets up to this point: his family, friends, and pets in his heart. His middle school graduation and a puzzle piece that was always changing that contained his favorite books. Small pieces from every birthday. A puzzle piece with him in a car made up most of his right foot, successfully preserving the memory of him getting his license.

His puzzle was far from complete. He doubted he would ever completely finish it, but a part of him almost didn’t want to. The point of the puzzle wasn’t to collect all the pieces and be done with it. It was to remind them to experience and try new things and to always be open to learning opportunities. He had gotten another piece of his brain when he had realized that.

So, for the most part, he didn’t try to rush it and tried to appreciate the opportunity the puzzle gave him to reflect on everything he had done. But he longed for his heart to be complete. He had pieces for his family, friends, and for Bieber, and he knew there were smaller pieces missing for if he had a family one day, but the large piece that was dead center in his heart remained completely empty. Sometimes, when he looked at it, he felt a pang in his heart as if the hole were really there.

Simon’s biggest fear was that he would never meet the person that would fill that piece. It wasn’t unheard of for same-sex couples to be soulmates, but it was uncommon. Simon knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was gay. He was afraid that he might never get that piece, but even more than that, he was terrified that it would be a woman.

The soulmate puzzle piece was pretty special. When it first appears, it is pure white and then as you do stuff with your significant other, it fills with a patchwork of images from dates, to anniversaries, to proposals. His parents pieces were full of so many photos you couldn’t distinguish one memory from another. That’s what he wanted. He wanted a love so deep and so full of happiness that they are overflowing with positive memories.

He didn’t know why he was so anxious to get it. Only two of his classmates had been paired together and their soulmate puzzle pieces had actually appeared with their puzzles. They had been inseparable ever since.

So, he knew he wasn’t all that different from his peers, but it felt different because he wasn’t sure the love he wanted existed.

“Check out the new kid,” Nick said during lunch, pulling Simon from his thoughts of love and soulmates and puzzle pieces.

Simon looked towards where he was pointing. A tall kid, with dark curly hair, and dark skin was holding a lunch tray and was looking around nervously. Simon instantly felt a connection to him. He felt the strangest urge to get up and talk to him. “He looks so scared,” Simon observed. “I’m gonna invite him to sit with us.”

“Why?” Nick asked.

“You didn’t hesitate when Abby got here,” Simon pointed out quietly.

Abby was still a bit of a touchy subject. Nick had fallen for her hard and when his soulmate puzzle piece didn’t arrive, he had been crushed.

“Go invite him over,” Nick grumbled. He knew Simon wouldn’t have mentioned Abby if he didn’t really want the new kid to sit at the table. Nick glanced at where he was standing. He didn’t see anything special about him, but Simon clearly had.

Simon walked over to where Bram was standing. “Hi, I’m Simon Spier,” he said extending his hand.

“Bram Greenfeld.” His hand felt strong in Simon’s and he didn’t think he was imagining the light squeeze Bram gave his hand.

“Right, well I’m sure this is an overwhelming day for you. We have some room at our table if you need a place to sit,” Simon offered.

Bram hesitated. “My mom has a friend whose son goes here. He was supposed to meet me here,” he admitted.

“Hey, no worries. We just wanted to make the offer.” Simon turned to leave, but Bram stopped him.

“He was supposed to meet me here before lunch, so if you wouldn’t mind… That would be great.” Simon couldn’t help but notice how flustered he looked.

Bram followed Simon to his lunch table and took the empty seat across from him. “Everyone, this is Bram. Bram, this is… everyone.”

Bram waved to everyone and exchanged quick greetings. Almost immediately, Bram and Nick hit it off by talking about soccer. Apparently Bram played soccer at his old school and so Nick finally had someone, other than Garrett, to talk to about soccer.

Simon was startled when he saw a shadow peek over their table. He looked up and saw a tall boy with dark hair that he was pretty sure he had never seen before. “Oh, Lyle, hey,” Bram said when he noticed who it was.

“Just checking in on you. My mom said your mom was pretty nervous,” Lyle told him. “I see you made some friends.”

Bram shrugged. “She’s always nervous when I start a new school. I’m assuming you know them.” He gestured to the people at his table.

“I don’t think we’ve met,” Simon interjected.

“Actually, we had bio together last year,” Lyle told him.

“I’m sorry… I don’t…” Simon trailed off uncomfortably.

“Don’t be. It was a big class and I have a knack for remembering faces.”

Simon frowned. “Were you in class when we did that edible leaves test?”

“And Joel Winslow ate that poison ivy?” Lyle now had a small smile on his face.

“Because Doug Fogherty told him it was pot,” Simon finished. He was openly grinning as he remembered that particular day.

They both chuckled. “What school did I transfer to?” Bram asked.

“Come on, you’re old school must have had funny stories like that. It doesn’t happen often, but word spreads fast around here,” Simon pointed out.

Bram frowned. “I guess there were little things, but it was mostly about who was sleeping with who, who was pregnant, and who got caught drinking vodka during gym class.”

“Okay, your school sounds way more interesting than ours.” Simon grinned at him and Bram couldn’t help his answering smile.

Before Bram could say anything else, another person joined them. It was a kid with sandy hair that looked kind of familiar to Simon. “Hey man, do you have the math homework.”

“You’re never going to learn it if you keep copying off of me,” Lyle said, but he was already reaching into his bag for it.

“When I’m a famous actor, I’ll keep that in mind,” the kid said, rolling his eyes. Simon suddenly remembered why he looked familiar. Simon had once seen him stand on a table and belt out the entire monologue in Hamlet in the middle of lunch without blinking an eye.

“Bram, this slacker here is Cal. Cal this is that kid I was telling you about yesterday.” Lyle handed Cal his homework.

“Oh, you just moved here from Savannah, huh?” He asked. He rolled and unrolled Lyle’s homework while he talked. “What brings you here?”

“My mom just got a job at the hospital,” Bram explained. He looked down at the table and Simon made a mental note to ask about that. He had a sneaking suspicion there was more to the story than that.

Shortly after that, Lyle and Cal left, Bram continued his soccer conversation with Nick, and Simon pretended he understood what they were talking about.

That night when Simon got home, he stopped dead in his tracks a couple of steps into his door. Instinctively, he had glanced at his puzzle when he walked in. He hadn’t really been expecting anything, he hadn’t received a new puzzle piece in a couple of months now. But today, there was a new one. There was a pure white puzzle piece dead center where his heart was.

He stared for a long time. He had found his soulmate. Bram really was his soulmate. Simon nearly did a little jig, but felt like someone had dumped icy cold water on him when realized that he didn’t actually know if it was Bram. He had met Lyle and Cal today too. He cursed to himself. Of all the days to be introduced to new people at his school, he picked the day with the cute, new student.

Simon flopped back on his bed and groaned. He had no idea how to find out which one of them was his soulmate. There was no way he was telling a single person that he had his soulmate puzzle piece. Nick would make a big deal about it and would go overboard trying to figure out which guy it was. He had done the same thing when Simon came out. He was trying so hard to be a supportive friend, but ended up being a little weird with how okay he was with it. Everyone else would be hypothesizing which girl he was meant to be with.

Despite how unexpected that twist was, Simon couldn’t help but smile. The impossible had happened. His soulmate was a boy.

He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, not caring that he was still in his clothes and that he hadn’t done his homework.

Simon got to lunch late the next day, because he was trying to ask his history teacher for an extension on his homework assignment since he had fallen asleep early the night before. When he took his seat, Bram and Nick were deeply engaged in a conversation about the soulmate puzzle pieces.

“So your parents got married even though they weren’t soulmates?” Nick asked. He was intrigued. It wasn’t something that was unheard of, but it also wasn’t common.

Bram fidgeted in his seat. “They didn’t exactly plan for it. They had just been fooling around when they were in college and a few weeks before graduation, my mom found out she was pregnant with me. Since neither of them had found their soulmates, they agreed to get married. They did love each other and they wanted me to grow up with two parents. They worked hard at their relationship, but one day, my dad bumped into his old friend from school in the grocery store and suddenly his soulmate piece showed up.”

“It didn’t show up when he was in school?” Nick asked curiously, and if Simon wasn’t mistaken, a little hopefully. Simon could understand. Nick was head over heels in love with Abby and it upset both of them when they weren’t soulmates.

Bram shook his head. “He explained that sometimes, you need to do a bit of growing before you find out your soulmate is right in front of you. It’s apparently really common. After he had me, my dad changed. Enough so the girl he had never thought of romantically suddenly became the only woman he could think about. He and my mom got divorced and he’s now married to that woman.”

“Wow. Funny how that worked out,” Nick observed. “I never thought about trying to be with someone if they weren’t my soulmate.

Simon clung to every word, trying to find out if Bram could be his soulmate. There was something about him that made Simon feel like he was alive.

“Really?” Bram asked surprised. “It was so common at my old school. I just thought it was like that everywhere.”

Both Simon and Nick stared at Bram. “So you all do some casual dating, or what?”

Bram shrugged. “Who doesn’t? A lot of guys in my old school dated on and off. Some were even with the same girl for a couple of years.”

“Were you one of them?” Simon couldn’t help but ask.

Bram blushed and quickly changed the subject. Simon felt his heart sinking in his chest. It wasn’t Bram. Clearly he had been casually dating girls at his old school. Why else would he have avoided the question?

Simon went out of his way to find Cal later that day. He was sitting on the half wall that held the railing for the ramp and was looking at a girl with such lovey eyes, that there was no doubt in his mind he was in love with her. He pretended he had a question about the school play and then he rushed down the hallway to class.

That left Lyle. It had to be Lyle. His heart was beating in his chest when he found Lyle in the library. “Hey,” he said quietly as he walked towards him. He was going to do it. He was just going to come out and ask him.

“Hey… Simon, right?” Lyle asked. He looked like he was doing research for some type of report.

“Yeah, listen,” Simon started to say.

“What’s up?” Lyle asked curiously.

He suddenly couldn’t do it. “I just wanted to say sorry for not recognizing you. I feel bad that we spent an entire year in class together and don’t remember you.”

“Don’t feel bad. I didn’t talk much. I spent most of the year staring at the back of Tracey Partici’s hair, trying to start a conversation with her.”

Simon nodded. He tried to keep the gloom he felt out of his voice. “Glad to hear there’s no hard feelings.”

Simon ran out of the library and spent the rest of the period in the bathroom escaping from reality. The fact was he had gotten his soulmate puzzle piece, but he had no idea who his soulmate was.

That day, after school, Simon walked right into Bram while he was fishing around in his bag for his car keys. “Oh, sorry. You’re still here,” Simon said surprised.

“My mom was supposed to pick me up,” he admitted. “She’s running late so she’s gonna be about an hour.”

“I can give you a lift,” Simon offered.

“Are you sure?” Bram asked uncertainly.

“Follow me.” Simon led Bram to his faded red car. Once they got inside, he glanced at Bram from the corner of his eye. “You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you. You looked a little uncomfortable when you were asked about why you moved here yesterday. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it.”

Bram was silent for such a long time, that Simon assumed he wasn’t going to say anything. Simon began to back out of his spot and nearly hit the car behind him when Bram spoke. “I guess you could say we ran away.”

Simon turned to look at him. “Why?”

“Have you ever had a secret Simon?” Bram was looking at him as if he could see right into his soul. It made the hair on Simon’s neck stand up.

“Yes.” His response was curt, but he didn’t think he could manage anything more than that.

“Go right,” Bram whispered as Simon pulled up to a stop sign. “Me too. A big one. One that no one knew about for awhile until someone at school found out. I posted anonymously about my secret and how I felt like my life was full of ups and downs because of it. Somehow, they traced it back to me. Left.”

Simon dutifully put his blinker on and stared out the windshield, forcing himself to focus on the road. “Is that why you left?” Simon asked.

“Yeah. It got really bad when kids found out. I got beaten up a few times and ended up in the hospital once. My mom didn’t know until a police officer talked to her while I was in the hospital. They told her I was lucky I didn’t have any broken bones and that it could have been a lot worse. After that, my mom pulled me from school and began looking for a new job. I always thought I would be a little relieved when my secret got out and when it wasn’t this huge burden on me, but it cost me my friends and my school.”

“I’m sorry you went through that. I can’t say I know what that feels like, because the only person that knows my secret is Nick. I sometimes dream about what it would be like if everyone knew, but it never seems as open and freeing as I want it to. I don’t know, maybe I’m building it up in my head.”

“What is your secret?”

Simon’s hands tightened on his steering wheel. He hadn’t expected such a blunt question from Bram, especially since they barely knew each other. He went back and forth about whether or not he should tell him. On the one hand, he felt a connection with Bram that he had never experienced with anyone else, not even Nick. On the other hand, Simon didn’t know if he was ready to tell another person his secret. It wasn’t until he pulled up to the curb outside of Bram’s house that he found his courage. “I’m gay.” He knew from the way Bram snapped his head to look at him, that he had heard.

“Simon?” Bram asked hesitantly.

“Yeah?” Simon asked.

“Did you get a new puzzle piece yesterday?” Bram asked. Simon could only nod. Bram tentatively reached for his hand and brushed his fingers against his. He leaned in, so his face wasn’t far from Simon’s. “Me too.” Bram allowed his fingers to trail down Simon’s cheek, marveling at how Simon’s skin flushed under his touch.

Bram looked for the answer to the question he didn’t know how to ask, in Simon’s eyes. When he saw hope and excitement in there, he leaned in and pressed his lips to Simon’s. He pulled back after a moment and Simon eagerly leant back in for more.

For a split second, they didn’t care that it was a sunny afternoon and anyone could see them. They didn’t care that people wouldn’t approve. In that moment, they could only think of each other.

When Simon got home that night, he couldn’t help the smile that crept across his face as he saw the picture of him and Bram. It filled his entire soulmate puzzle piece. His last thought before he fell asleep was that he couldn’t wait to add to it.

 


End file.
